How to discredit a UN report about your human rights violations in three easy steps.

  1. Deny UN officials access to your Guantanamo Bay prisoners held without a fair trial.
  2. Put out a sound-byte about how lazy UN officials didn’t even interview the prisoners for their report and you’re in the clear!
  3. Rinse and repeat.

Human rights can be awesome!
Human rights are of the utmost importance when they advance your own interest. For example, they’re handy when you need a backup reason for preemptively invading other countries. On the other hand, human rights are not important when you’re the one violating them. Like, don’t you watch 24? Like, duh.

The UN trusts the terrorists more than us.
Scott McClellan, the White House spokesman/official bullshiter tells us “We know that Al-Qaeda detainees are trained in trying to disseminate false allegations.”

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