Something positively incredible happens when you rewire your brain and turn the corner out of a serious depression. Aside from feeling better (which is fantastic on its own) you will start to see in vivid color again. I’m not sure what the neurological or biochemical reason is for this but this phenomena is very real and I’ve experienced it.
I was so depressed that my dad decided to bring me to a place called Canyon Ranch. It’s pretty much the ultimate health spa with a “life enhancement” wing where you go when you’re, um, not well. People who drink too much, are on drugs, or are depressed like I was.
Upon arriving at Canyon Ranch everything was muted brown, gray, and seemingly dead. My depression had literally robbed me of my ability to see in true color! It made me somewhat color blind.
After a week or two of regular exercise, the most healthy food, great sleep, and amazing people I started to notice something. Specifically there were two paintings in the lobby that literally stopped me in my tracks. I had to ask someone if they had just been put up because a: I hadn’t even noticed them for a whole week and b: the colors were so vibrant they appeared to be back-lit like a high resolution HD monitor.
I’m totally over this stuff now and every single day is filled with the most vivid and radiant color imaginable. I’m lucky to have had the support of my dad and most of the members of my family. I hope your support network is as good as mine was.
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
A while back I was told by some therapists that I had a clinical depression. For some reason they we’re all quick to suggest I start taking medication. I’m kind of against that type of thing so I thought that was a terrible idea. Of course a few months later I found myself medicating with food. I was eating an entire jug of ice cream every day. Yuk! Long story short I went about fixing the problem the old school way, by eating properly and exercising.
On January 1st of this year I stopped medicating myself with junk food and started getting active. I started running with my friend Rick. At first we we’re running for the exercise. Eventually we decided to set a goal of running the half marathon together. We registered for the race and started training. We’d go out rain or shine every second day. At first I couldn’t run for more than about 15-20 minutes at a time even at a slow pace. With Rick’s help I got stronger and faster and the depression bullshit slowly faded away.
Fast forward to today. Rick and I just finished our first half marathon! W00t! We had a great time at the race. Who knew that running with 6000 people could be so fun?! Unfortunately Rick had crazy stomach problems during the race so he didn’t do as well as he would have liked. He was running for his life to find a toilet several times during the race… As a result Rick’s time doesn’t reflect his mad running skillz.
Rick came 1092 out of 5834 people and had a time of 1h 51m 29s. I came in 1111 out of 5834 people and had a time of 1h 51m 42s.
Here are some photos my sister shot during the event.
Rick and I are going to do the full marathon next year…
Thanks for the support Rick!